Well, with everything else that has happened in the family, it was about time I got in on the drama. I have started to tell people that we, as a family, are making full use of the NHS before the Tory government get rid of it all together but that’s another rant for another day! Today, I am going to attempt to share a post about what I went through yesterday, although I am not sure how it is going to go as this is about my 6th time of writing it and I still don’t feel I am completely in the zone.
I have mentioned before that I have polycystic ovary syndrome and I even wrote (briefly) about the time I passed out at work. and it’s not something I hide, but I have to admit it is very hard to explain to someone exactly what it feels like or quite how awful it can be.
The last one I had, that was really bad, was over a year ago. I will be honest I was really hoping that maybe it was an age thing and I had finally grown out of them, but yesterday my bad periods came back with vengeance. I had prepared people that they can get bad, but I don’t know if I made too light of it or if they thought I was exaggerating how ill I can be, but either way my work ended up calling an ambulance out for me.
I came on about lunch time, and then everything was fine until about 3.30 when I started to feel a little discomfort. I borrowed some painkillers from a colleague and stuffed the wheaty I always carried with me into the microwave. I think I may be managed about another half hour before I was starting to feel a little unwell and so took myself off, with a pre-warned work colleague (pwwc), to a quiet area. In my defence, I did tell her if I pass out not to worry about it.
The pain started to radiate down my thighs and that was when I knew I was in for a bit of a bad one. Sadly I only had a small heat mat with me, and so I alternated it between my stomach and my thighs. Slowly I went from being able to stand, to kneeling on the floor, with my face shoved into the sofa and my fists balled into stomach, this is when pwwc went to get the boss – I think I freaked them out. I lost the ability to regulate my temperature and started to feel a bit nauseous so I sent pwwc to get me something I could throw up in – she came back with the washing up bowl. I was sick twice.
Usually, when I get a bad period things start coming out of both ends and in this instance it did. I was sat on the toilet but unable to hold myself upright. Here I noticed that the toilet roll holder at work is in the wrong place. At home I can sit on the toilet and rest my head on the holder so I don’t have to remain upright. This was not an option, so instead I took inspiration from my new found love of yoga and did a half way bend, meaning I managed to place both my hands flat on the floor, head between knees whilst still sitting on the toilet. (big props to Adriene for making me so flexible – sorry to link to you from this post!)
Pwwc once again heated my wheaty and I made it back to the sofa where this time I lay flat out. At this point I had stopped caring what people thought or how I looked. The pain is the only thing I can focus on. I had pins and needles in my legs and I was using all my energy to try and figure out how I could rip out my uterus using only the power of my mind.
I think it was at this point the pwwc started to freak out.
I was just wanting to pass out and escape the pain.
I’m not sure exactly what happened next, but pwwc decided enough was enough and called 111, who in turn sent out an ambulance. At one point the controller at 111 asked if he could talk to me, and I refused. It’s really hard to explain it, but I was part able to or at least I could have possibly forced myself to rouse to talk to them, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to pass out.
Annoyingly, pwwc kept talking to me and so I didn’t fully pass out, more just kept drifting off as if to sleep.
As quickly as these sessions happen, they seem to go again. When the ambulance people arrived I was already in a position where I was able to talk and move and the pain had reduced significantly. Although apparently their monitors did show that my blood pressure was down a bit.
I felt like a fraud, I still do. I am mortified that I had period pains and they resulted in me having to have an ambulance called.
Interestingly, when all of this happened I had just opened the article on the Chinese swimmer Fu Yuanhui who admitted she didn’t do well in the 4 x 100 meter relay because she had had her period.
As I am getting older I have realised how much of an effect my cycle has on my body. With irregular periods it is impossible to know exactly what is happening when, but I do have days when I cannot get out of bed for love nor money and often will be in bed until well after I should have left for work. Once a month I have a day when I just cannot concentrate on work, and find myself easily distracted and a few days before I come on I can’t control my cravings and have been known to open a packet of crisps at midnight.
I find the whole period conversation a tricky one. Not in terms of talking about it, I mean I am very much an open book. But despite everything I went through yesterday in the back of my mind, I still feel like a fraud. An ambulance was called out because I came on my period. Millions of woman have periods once a month – am I a complete wuss that can’t handle pain?
The idea of having children terrifies me. If something as simple as period pains knocks me out what am I going to do if there is ever a person trying to come out of there and I have to deal with contractions?!
The paramedics asked me to return to my GP so I can get checked over, which is something I will do, but with them being so pathetic last time I am not in any rush. Plus, it’s really tricky, with no symptoms to show I really worry what people think when I tell them “I sometimes pass out from period pains”