Well where do I start? Perhaps at the very beginning… a very good place to start (name that musical?!)
I initially started this blog a few years ago now (wow, that makes me feel old!) I had just moved into a new house, with the guy I had been seeing for 4 years and our reactive dog BD. I thought this blog would be the perfect place to document our lives together as well as the joys and challenges of living with a reactive dog… and there are a few posts about that… but…
We lasted 9 months.
Yep. 9 months into living together my (now ex) turned around to me and said he was ‘sorry’ but he couldn’t do it anymore. I got all the usual lies: “it’s not you, it’s me?”… “I just need some time to figure it out and then I will come back to back to you”… “I will always love you”… “we will stay friends”. In fact, I even got a romantic break to Paris thrown in as a weird break-up gift… anyway.
6 weeks after telling me he loved me, he was in bed with someone else.
18 months after promising we could share BD and that he would never take him from me… well I bet you can guess… yes he banned me from seeing BD for “my own good.” Yes, I may still be a little bitter about that one, there are a few blog posts about me trying to deal with all that. 2 years later the guy who was “never getting married again as all it was was a “piece of paper” has gotten married in a 2-day wedding extravaganza. There are no blog posts about that, as being completely honest with you I no longer give a sh*t. See, time does heal.
However, enough about that waste of space. Yep, still very bitter about the BD thing. And then slowly things turned around.I got my own place. I got a new job. I got my own rabbit and eventually I got a new boyfriend (Raoul) and that kinda brings you smack bang up to date.
I have also moved on. I got my own place. I got a new job. I got my own rabbit and eventually I got a new boyfriend (Raoul) and I thought I too had found my happily ever after. Very quickly we both announced “this was something special” and we were planning a life together. I thought I have found “the one.”
Or at least it did until Raoul also woke up one morning and decided he wasn’t sure anymore. I think I have a type. So we took some time, but his taking time and my taking time look a little bit different. Suffice to say we never got back together.
I don’t know why, but the break up with Raoul hit me hard. Probably something to do with it being another guy who claimed to love me and wanted “forever” who turned out to be sort of… full of it. However, with the help of some amazing friends, and the love and support of my family I got over it.
Well, their support and the fact that life decided to throw me another curve ball…
My rock, my hero and the only man in my life I have ever being able to rely on, my Dad, got diagnosed with terminal cancer. The original diagnosis was anywhere between 6 months and 4 years. Although I later found out this was a lie, the doctors said 2 but my parents decided to tell us 4. Dad fought hard, but despite everything, he died 7 months after diagnosis. I’m still dealing with that.
Then 2 months after my Dad’s death my Mum had a heart attack. Turns out she had been keeping a “severe heart failure” diagnosis a secret from us, as we had so much to deal with in relation to Dad.
However, it hasn’t all been doom and gloom. In an effort to move on from Raoul I went back to online dating, and I met S. For both of us, it is a case of once bitten twice shy and so we are taking things very slowly. But, I like him and he has been unbelievably supportive as I have dealt with the sh*t life has thrown at me. I don’t know what’s going to happen with him but for the first time in my life, I am ok about that. If it works out, great. If it doesn’t. Well, then I will have enjoyed the ride.
What the future looks like, I don’t know. What you will find on here… yep, not sure about that either. But why not join me and find out?