So I have had a blog for what a couple of months now and I seem to be struggling for content. Only that isn’t really true, I am struggling with what content to share.
When I started this blog I wanted it to be about my life. A place where I could be open and honest about my past experiences, my future hopes and share my life with what I hope would become a worldwide group of friends.
I read so many brilliant blogs, as part of my job, and I saw the friendship and support they received and I wanted that for me.
The problem is that a lot of my story is wrapped up in OH. Since I first met him I knew he was something a little special. In fact I was so sure about ‘us’ that I applied for a job close to where OH worked purely on the basis it was close to where he worked.
However, a lot of the problems we are having, and the stuff I want to share about is ‘his’ story. It is tied up with his past, the way he has been treated, and things that have happened. The problem is I am very aware that the pre-stuff me if his story, not mine. Yet I don’t know how to share about the problems we are having without letting at least some of his story out.
His past is affecting my future, and I want to share that future with you, but can’t without sharing a little of his past. Do you see the circle?
OH has suffered from a past relationship. I can see that this past suffering is affecting our relationship, in the same way that the bullying and mind games I suffered are affecting me. But as this is my blog I can share my issues and work through them… but I can’t do that with his stuff.
Yet, I am becoming more and more worried that his past is going to affect my future.