Honey I Shrunk the House

This week started well with me and my OH wondering the shops together and dreaming dreams about our future as we prepare to move into our new house together. We get the keys at the end of the month and I couldn’t be more excited!!

After a small argument, in which we discussed calmly (with minimal door slamming) the various separate plans we had made about moving in together (mine involved cleaning the house Saturday morning then moving in junk, his involved moving in junk and cleaning around) we came up with a compromise (cleaning late Friday night when we collect keys) and set off to shop.

I would just like to now point out how well-behaved we both were during the shopping trip!

Together we reached many decisions: the furniture we would buy, which room it would go in, when we would buy it and I even didn’t even sulk when he pointed out that the L-shaped cream sofa and matching snuggle chair I had fallen in love with was not the most practical of ideas giving that we have a very large collie, both enjoy the odd glass of wine and are as clumsy as.. well you get the idea!

We left the shops full of ideas and looked forward to our viewing the very next day where along with measuring for various white goods we would finalise which household items we would buy. I was so excited driving up to the house, and walking down the drive way to knock on the red front door – which I couldn’t help but think would very shortly be my red front door – walked through the small entrance porch to the lounge – soon to be my front porch and my lounge – and then I stopped dead…..

Someone has shrunk my house!!!

I remember everything exactly – the two two-seater sofa’s in the lounge, with space for a table, the upstairs bedroom with the double bed and two double wardrobes – but somewhere in my memory my house had doubled in size.

There is no room for my cream sofa, even if I had been allowed it. In fact the isn’t room for any L-shaped sofa’s with or without the snuggle chair. Nor the table with 6 chairs for all our friends and family to dine around, and the spare room which was going to have a chest of draws, double bed and double wardrobe will hopefully fit a double if we buy a small one!!

In fact the only thing which wasn’t smaller than I remembered it was the small garden which has grown in size (hurray!) and under stairs cupboard – both of which I have along with the loft already given my OH full control of.

I have been told that this house shrinkage is apparently common when buying houses, and I do still love my (now little) house so so much… but I just hope it doesn’t shrink anymore between now and moving day or elsewhere will all my shoes live?!

I wish!

I wish!

How to have a weekend like me

Friday:

  • Stay later than intended at work to catch up on mountain of paper work.
  • Drive home (getting stuck behind idiot who only ever drives at 40 mph regardless of speed limit!)
  • Eat tea at some sort of warp speed as your are soon to be very late.
  • Pack bags for weekend with the OH. As you are the worlds worst packer be sure to pack at least double what you need.
  • Race to party to meet a friend for a long overdue catch up.
  • Find out friend isn’t coming.
  • Leave party race to the OHs house.
  • Find OH isn’t at house and instead go track him down at his local watering hole.

Saturday:

  • Have a (well deserved) lie in
  • Head out for a lovely dog walk in the moors.
    As you are putting on boots, ideally in the middle of no-where, remember that your walking boots fell apart last time you wore them and one of them only has a third of the sole still attached.
  • Decide to set off on walk, make sure your OH takes the lead, and for reasons known only to him, wander through waterlogged bogs rather than sticking to the obvious paths.
  • Misjudge a jump. Aim for what you think is a reed bed but end up in water and other substances you would rather not identify up to your ankles!
  • Pull out foot taking care to catapult a good amount of above mentioned yuck from broken boot onto face, front and back.
  • Continue on walk – no idea why
  • Get loose sole stuck under boot, cover yourself in more yuck whilst trying to release it.
  • Decide to abandon walk, and head into town to purchase new pair or walking boots.
  • Realise on route to town you did not bring your purse with you.
  • Continue to town having agreed with the OH he will buy you them. Start trying on boots and discover that socks are brown (broken leaky water boot remember) borrow OHs socks.
  • Find pair you like with amazing discount on – #win
  • Discover a loose stitch in one boot which rubs your heal. Decide you will fix this at home (the discount is worth it) blag further discount due to loose stitch. Cause mass chaos at the tills whilst 3 store staff trying to process the additional discount.
  • LeaveOH and go to visit relatives and play with two young nieces (3 and 6 years old).
  • Take them for a short walk.
  • Head home. Watch in horror as littlest niece falls while skipping and puts teeth through lips! Despite best efforts to comfort… carry screaming child home.
  • Sort Tea.
  • Finally get screaming child to stop scream.
  • Have other niece announce (rather proudly) her wobbley tooth has just fallen out.
  • Try to find loose an appropriate safe place to put tooth.

Sunday:

  • Take dog for a short walk
  • Do weekly shop
  • Take dog for a longer walk, which includes some training
  • Make lunch.
  • Impress yourself with uber organisation skills and make a flask to take with you when you head out.
  • Ensure flask leaks so you throw hot tea over yourself not once but twice.
  • Get back and start to cook tea.
  • Mid way through cooking have cupboard fall of wall onto you.
  • Stop cooking, empty cupboard, move tea out of the way whilst the OH tries to pull the other half of the cupboard off the wall.
  • Succeed and resume cooking.

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So how was your weekend?