I feel this is one of those posts that might make me come across as a complete ass… if that is the case I apologise in advance but I do feel this is something we are all guilty of, and a conversation with a friend of mine got me thinking I had to share my thoughts on here. I have too much stuff. I don’t know where it has come from, but everywhere I look I seem to have nothing but junk, and it is leaving me with a feeling of being cluttered and overcrowded and I hate it.
I look around my house and all I see is clutter. I open my handbag and it’s filled with a million and one things that I carry with me on a daily basis and I have no idea why I carry them with me, a receipt for a Panasonic 4K TV which I must have picked up in error thinking it was mine because that’s the sort of thing I do. If i see a spare receipt I will pick it up assuming it’s mine and must have fallen out of my pocket and I carry it around for the next month or three! Painkillers, my diary, my purse, tampons, eye drops for mum, perfume, chewing gum, sweets from about 3 weeks ago, a second purse for all the store cards, I kept not using as I couldn’t find them, which now have their own purse but still don’t get used because I forget… it just makes it all feel very cluttered.
It’s the same with my desk, I just seem to have crap all over it. I am envious of other people who neat, clean tidy desks. I just don’t manage it. My car boot, my house, my shed, the garage that I rent… it’s all just full of stuff and I feel like I am drowning under the weight of it. I don’t like it, but at the same time, I don’t feel like I can throw it out.
Those of you who follow me on Twitter (nothing like a subtle plug, am I right?) will know that I have recently discovered the Marie Kondo method of decluttering, look at my drawers, and like others before me, I am converted. In the act of full transparency, I should point out that I am about only 3 weeks into this “new me” but the fact that I am choosing to roll my trousers and put them away in their assigned draw, despite it being midnight and despite me wearing them the next day. I just love the feeling of putting everything into its right place. I am addicted to how easy it is to find things when they are away, and the change has done more than just sorted out my drawers. Now I feel “joy” for everything I own the way I am dressing has changed. I am making more of an effort with my appearance (read – I am doing my hair, rather than sticking it up into a sort of bun all day every day) and I feel better about myself.
However, having decluttered one area of my life has meant I’m finding it harder to deal with the other areas in my life that aren’t cluttered. I have too many toiletries, for years they seem to have been the go-to presents for a number of people and I am useless of using them. I have too much food in my cupboard. If I see something reduce I buy it to use later, only I never seem to reach later. I have an urge to just walk through my house throwing everything out and starting all over again but as I hate waste I can’t bring myself to. So I am trying to use it up. I am really trying to use things I have rather than buy stuff new, but I am just so bad at that. If I go into a shop I find it hard to walk about without buying things – I have spent £60 on groceries in the last 2 weeks and I LIVE ALONE. No idea who I am feeding with all this food, Poppy doesn’t eat that much kale.
I am trying to get into a routine, food planning using things from the cupboards. But I seem to be so busy that I’m struggling to find time to cook anything that isn’t pasta with grated cheese on it and on the evenings I do have time to cook I am heading to my mums. The other day a shop was giving away some free stuff, and despite having no room I took so much home with me. I am planning on re-gifting the stuff throughout the year, but at the moment it means I can’t get into my spare room. Oh, and some of the birthdays I am planning on re-gifting for… happening in JUNE. That’s 6 months with an oversized vase and nowhere for it to live. I am so worried about living outside my budget, that I’m not planning properly as I am finding the whole finance thing just a little bit scary. I did try downloading some of those finance apps that you can get, but I’m so awful at keeping track of my finances and I am unsure how to start I keep putting it off until next month. I tried that say £5 every time you get given one money saving method, and survived 2 weeks before I needed to dip into it for a swim and I haven’t been given £5 since.
I really have an urge to draw a line in the sand and start again. But I don’t know how and because I don’t know how I keep putting it off. S has asked me to go away with him this year and we are potentially looking at having to spend £2000 on flights. I really want to be able to go and to have sensibly saved up for the holiday, rather than bankrupting myself and worrying later, but I don’t know where to start?!
*disclaimer. This is a sponsored post but the complete mess of far too many material possessions is a very real problem of mine.